In loving memory

My first encounter with death as a medical student was 4 weeks into my first year at medical school.

We were still coming to grips with being away from home, making new friends, fresh, naive.

Medicine was simple then, we only knew the basics, how the muscles and nerves functioned, the names of the bones, the physiology of the digestive tract. A bit about ethics and law.

It was all very sudden.

She sat next to me in anatomy class, on Friday she told me how her computer was acting up, maybe it was about time to change it. We talked excitedly about our upcoming anatomy group social - it'll be fun, she said.

On Monday, during our anatomy session, there was hardly anyone there. Some people were at the school office sorting something out. Something had happened. Our tutor told us to stay behind after class. A lady walked in an just blurted out,

"Your classmate was hit by a car yesterday. She's currently on life support waiting for her parents to come before they make any decisions."

Silence.

"She might not make it."

Those words just ring in the ears.

When you hear stuff like that you can't help to think, but well yeah, medicine has improved so much, they should be able to help her.

Before you realise that, the 'they' that we claim can cure just about anything, will be us medical students in the future. We will be the ones armed with the medical knowledge and advancements that should, ideally, save her.

It brings a lot of things into perspective.

She was a medic like us. She had a bright future ahead. I barely knew her. And she did not make it.

I study medicine misguided that I'll be able to save everyone. None of my future patients will die under my care. I won't let them.

Three years down the line and I've seen countless patients die before my eyes.

People die, it's just a cycle of life.

Coming to terms with death is something they don't teach you in medschool. But perhaps they really should.