Translator, at your service

Ah, the many roles of a medical student.

Today's didn't involve gallantly defending testicles from cosmic rays - far from it.

I was summoned to clinic by one of the consultants who needed help translating for a patient who he hoped spoke the same language as I did. Lucky for him, I did and communication was established.

All I had to do was ask if he had shoulder pain, which he evidently did, however that simple question launched him into a very excitable rant in a mix of English and his mother tongue about knee pain and back pain and other various miscellaneous information - everything but shoulder pain.

He then requested that he be taken to the toilet to have a wee, so I pushed his wheelchair to the toilet and recruited a nurse to help out, who then decided that since I spoke the language I could handle it without her help, and left me alone. I can't imagine language to be a barrier to helping someone go to the loo, but what do I know, I'm just a medical student.

So there I was. In the toilet. With this man who whipped out his equipment without so much as a bat of an eyelid.

We then spent a good 15 minutes in there - him on the toilet seat, having a good old rant about his son and his grandson and what they do for a living, his experience in the navy, his wife's job, how everyone complains that he talks too much so he tries not to - like it is the most natural thing in the world to have someone you've just met in the toilet with you while you peed and told them your life story.

Business done, I wheeled him back to the consultation room where the doctor continued his examination, and decided to give him joint injections for the pain.

I held his hand while the consultant stuck needles in his knees and shoulder, explaining to him what's going on. Once it was all over I dressed him and tied his shoe laces and wheeled him to the reception where we organised transport for him to get home.

He was a very nice man, highly animated, and he kept shouting bilingual thank you very much i am eternally grateful for your help everybody in this hospital is amazing, even as he left.

Yet another satisfied customer.

I think NHS should put me on permanent payroll for the amount of times I had to extend my services as translator. And then for doing the nurses' job. And occasionally the house officer jobs. It's a good 3 - in - 1 deal.

Medical student, jack of all trades, for hire?